My life is at a crossroad, I am a 51 year old man full of uncertainty. What is my next role? Do I play the role of a middle aged black man that was recently informed that he can no longer work in his chosen profession due to a plethora of medical injuries? Do I play the role of a middle aged man that successfully changes his career? Do I play the role of a depressed, down on his luck, down on himself, mad at the world, always me, if it wasn’t for you, I did everything on my own for years type of man? Do I play the role of the town drunk who lost his family because he fell off of the old wagon? Or, do I take the longest recurring role in history, “THE ANGRY BLACK MAN.” There are many casting calls, but not all casting calls should be answered, choose wisely. I will not let my moral value depreciate like those of a starving actor. I refuse to accept the roles that shine a light on the degradation and the degeneracy of black women and children. I also refuse to accept any roles that portray the black man as inferior, uncommitted, monstrous, incarcerated, lazy, philandering, drug dealing, uneducated, and faithless. I refuse to be negatively type casted! I will only accept roles that shine a light on my passion for equality, justice, family, faith, independence, education, prosperity, and the never ending pursuit of freedom!
I went to the crossroad
Fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above
Have mercy on me now
Save poor Bob, if you please
“Crossroads Blues”- Robert Johnson
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
As I walk into the saloon I head towards the bar where I can drown my thoughts that are of this day, for they have been swimming in my mind since I rose from my restless nights sleep. As I sit down to begin my spiral into my abyss, I pause…
“WE” don’t serve the likes of your kind around here!
“Don’t mind him, his wife will be here shortly to retrieve him, what will you be having today sir?
“A shot of water!
LOL! It looks as if you need something stronger than that!
“You know, I think you are right!
“Well then, what will you be having today?
“I know this might sound a bit strange, but do you happen to have a Bible?
Bartender: (noticeably exited)
“I don’t have one in the bar, but I do have a couple in the car, do you want the “KJV” version, or the “NIV” version?
“The “KJV” version, thanks for asking.”
“I’ll be right back, God is good!”
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.”
As I wake to greet this day my stomach is empty and my throat is dry, as this day will not begin until my body is refueled for the long journey towards this afternoon. As the early morning gets its fill of nutrition and its thirst quenched, thoughts of my journey to this afternoons feeding has already begun, calories will be burned and the well will soon run dry, for the time of nutritional replenishment is near. This day requires my attention so I give all of myself to this day, for there may be no tomorrow. As midday begins to settle my hunger that was of this morning will soon be of this afternoon, but I am prepared for what is to come. Whether it be the silent rumbles that grow louder while waiting impatiently for this afternoons feeding or the frailty that my body unwillingly flaunts, midday must be fed! As the hungry afternoon gets its fill the loud rumbles are no more, and my once weak body is now strong enough to complete my journey to this evenings feeding. The darkness of the night is the feeding grounds for those who have no appetite in the light but will feed endlessly in the shadows, so I quickly get my evenings fill as the darkness begins to engulf my being. I stand and keep watch for the ravenous ones, those whose extreme hunger grows as the sky begins to darken, for they have been craving my arrival since the rising of our sun. I have sustained through my light that is of the day by ingesting the essential nutrients that will sustain them through the darkness that is of their night. It is a never ending game of survival, with the winner getting another chance to feed until it is time to be eaten. The thought of me being a source of nutrition for the ravenous ones keeps me home at night with the doors locked, for when the morning comes, it will be my feeding time……
“For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift from God.”
I think she wants me by the way she bites her bottom lip, a subtle gesture that is meant for my eyes only. I will join her in this foreplay, for her invitation has been accepted. My body language speaks loudly as I gaze upon her full figured lips, and as our body language speak words unspoken, the intimacy that we share grows.
I think she wants me…….
“For they love the glory that comes from man than the glory that comes from God.”
Selfish- of a person, action, or motive. Lacking consideration for others.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.”