“MY ANGER”

Part 1.

Over the past two months that I have been sharing my thoughts with you, I let something happen that I said I would not let take place. I let my writings absorb me, the more that I wrote, the more angrier I became. My wife informed me that I needed to fix it, or stop writing, for if I didn’t, my anger and I will be the only ones left occupying space in our home. During this two month battle of wills, I have learned that you cannot keep something out that is already inside. I have learned that anger is a part of me, and his roots are buried deep. My anger predates my natural birth, it is an inherited anger, it is a selfish anger, it is a hungry anger, it is a vengeful anger, it is a unforgiving anger, and at times, a Godless anger, for “I AM THE ANGRY BLACK MAN.” The Angry Black Man has been intentionally denied of the social and emotional process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and exercise responsibility. The Angry Black Man needs to be loved, nurtured, supported, seen, shown consideration, and acknowledged as human beings. The white man not only changed the Angry Black Mans natural evolution by keeping him oppressed, but they also raped him of certain personality traits such as emotional stability, independence, sociability, positivity, self control, and tolerance. This is not an assassination of the Angry Black Mans character, but I do feel that this injustice needs to be addressed, so the process of healing can begin, and progress can then be achieved. Identity crisis, a period of psychological distress, often occurring in adulthood, when a person seeks a clearer sense of self and an acceptable role in society; confusion as to goals and priorities, a feeling of unhappiness and confusion caused by not being sure about what kind of person you really are, or what the true purpose of your life is. The Angry Black Man cannot survive outwardly in this society, and the Angry Black Man cannot survive within me, for I am getting tired, there is not a lot of fight left in me. The Angry Black Man cannot survive without society and its indifferences, for it is his fuel, and it is his drive. For hundreds of years the American Black Male has been having a passionate, yet tumultuous affair with The Angry Black Man, they have been on a perilous journey together, the kind of journey from which nightmares are born. As I sit here deep in thought, I realize that I have never been formally introduced to to The Angry Black Man, although we have crossed paths in the past, we were never more than casual acquaintances, but as of late, he seems to be everywhere! It is as if he is mimicking my every move, although he stays one step behind, I can still feel his fiery eyes, he doesn’t say much, but his growl speaks a thousand words all at once. I try to avoid turning around and making eye contact, for fear of being seduced and engulfed by the flames of his fiery eyes, but in a strange way, he makes me feel wanted, he makes me feel needed. Confrontation is inevitable when one is forced to recognize his or her inner self, there is no way around it, you cannot run or hide, it is the defining moment of truth that defines who we are as individuals. The truth in this society may not set you free, but being true to yourself, is a freedom that has no conflicts or boundaries.

DAME

Mythoughtsishare.com
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