In the last twelve years I have been what what most would call lucky, but I would disagree with that assessment, for I truly believe that my Lord and savior blessed me with continued preservation. He has been with me through it all, for I now stand tall because of his grace and mercy, so my thoughts I share with you!
October 12, 2010
In 2010 I had a major heart attack which they call the The widow maker. I experienced something that I could not explain at the time, but it has been revealed since, I’ll explain. I was a thirty-eight year old Black male that was spiritually, mentally, and physically unfit. I had been feeling some discomfort in my chest for some time prior to my heart attack but I wrote it off as heartburn. Then one day my heartburn began to intensify and my wife noticed a change in my appearance, for I did not look well. “Babe are you okay?” I thought about revealing my hidden health concerns, but we had plans for the evening, for it was movie night, so I made a decision to put my truth on hold until the following day. While drinking a beer and eating quadruple butter popcorn, about half way through the movie I felt a dull pain in the center of my chest and I began to sweat profusely. I also had sharp pains in my lower back, my left arm, and my mouth became desert dry, even the fluid in my eyes dried out. I will try to explain what took place next, but one may not understand if one is a non believer, for what the Lord gave me was not of this world. As I began to pray to my Lord and savior Jesus Christ a feeling of calmness flushed my being. There was no pain, fear, or worry, but most of all, there was no doubt, for I knew the Lord was with me. The shackles of life were being unlocked, I no longer felt enslaved by the world, for I knew that the Lord was setting me free.
March 22, 2017
At approximately 4:15 am I was driving on the freeway on my way to work. There were hardly any vehicles on the freeway, but out of nowhere a car cut me off and I started spinning out of control, for the rains from the previous night left its wetness behind. As the spinning continued I crashed into the middle divider coming to a complete stop. With the airbag being deployed from the impact damaging my eye in the process, I became disoriented. Thinking my car was on fire from the smoke that the airbag generated I exited my car looking for safety, and while doing so, at that very moment my car was hit in the rear causing it to hit me in the face as I stood in front of it. Somehow I was sucked and pinned beneath my car face up for an hour and fifteen intense, thought provoking, unknowing, loving, maturing, growing, and spiritual minutes that I have ever experienced under any condition. While I was pinned underneath my car I was struck by two other vehicles that hit their target about five minutes apart. The wait in between, in a strange way, it was the most alive that I have ever been in my life. “He is under the car!” Someone screamed. Shortly after, a tow truck pulled up and slowly lifted my car off of me, I did not know if I would bleed out once my car was lifted, so I began pray. I woke up two weeks later in critical condition. I had an over abundance of injuries, I was told that I was not quite out of the woods. I suffered a broken right shoulder, a dislocated left shoulder, I broke my jaw in three places, I damaged my left eye, lost most of my teeth, broke right femur bone, dislocated right knee, compound fracture of right shin, broke three ribs on my left side, broke all ribs on right side, broke right ankle, have metal in 90% of right leg, road rash down to muscle in left leg, I had many burns on face from hot underbelly of car, punctured both lungs, and I fractured my skull which has left me with brain shattering headaches and dizzying seizures that will accompany me for the rest of my visit here on earth. I now know with the Lords grace and mercy, support and prayers from family and friends, is how I survived. During my life span searching was a constant, whether it was love, work, shelter, freedom, fairness, money, peace of mind, honesty, drive, or simply an identity. But there are times when you come across something more than what you were looking for, or should I say, something greater than what you were looking for. On the fateful morning of March 22, 2017, I found something greater than what I was searching for, I found the Lord!
June 17, 2017
During my rehabilitation I asked my primary doctor about a lump on the side of my neck that had me concerned, but she insisted that it was a swollen lymph node brought on by the stress of my car accident. My wife and I decided to go to a throat specialist, and to our surprise, it was throat cancer stage four. It took a few minutes to digest the prognosis, but we kept our composure and put our trust in the Lord. With the cancer taking higher priority, we had to stop my rehabilitation to concentrate on my cancer prognosis. “Welcome to the world of cancer” were my first words spoken as I finally had time to converse with my own thoughts, for I was part of a new club, separate from the rest of the world. I had a feeling of isolation, and somewhat desperation, emotions that were to heavy for me to carry on my own, so I prayed and gave all the weight to the Lord. I thought I could not take anymore pain, but my beautiful mother passed away from cancer. This is what brings us to this juncture at this time, for it is not mere coincidence that we are sharing this moment together, for it was already written.
“The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.”
I have my reasons to believe!