As my wife and I stood in line at my grandsons school waiting for it to let out, I noticed this young kid with green hair. He was standing with his back against the wall with his head down, tears falling freely as they escape the thoughts from which they were conceived. Feeling somewhat concerned I turned to the young man, who I would say was about thirteen, and I offered myself to him, verbally.
Me: Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice the color of your hair, “IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!” What made you change the color?
Young kid: (now smiling) Thank you! I just felt like it, that’s all. All the other kids laugh at me, but I just wanted to do something different, I don’t know why they make fun of me.
Me: Those kids are just jealous of you.
Young kid: Jealous of me?
Me: Yep! You see all those kids over there, those are your classmates right?
Young kid: Yeah
Me: They are scared to be different, look at them, everyone is the same, they dress alike, they talk alike, no one is original. They are scared to be themselves because they think that no one will “LIKE” them for who they truly are, they should “LIKE” themselves, “LIKE” you.
Young kid: “LIKE” me?
Me: “LIKE” you!
“LIKE” yourself first!
Family time- an unspecific period of relaxing, or doing things that “WE ENJOY TOGETHER” without the worries that life can issue.
Solitary confinement- a form of imprisonment; “NO MEANINGFUL CONTACT TO OTHERS.”
Family time was the gathering of loved ones, it was a place of sanctuary where thoughts and feelings were intentionally set free to be exposed. There was a time before social media, a time when one could share his or her innermost thoughts with a loved one without the feeling of shame that can accompany his or her truth. Family time is now just the gathering of bodies with the mind not being an active participant, for it is to preoccupied with how others live their lives…
Me: Movie night anyone?
Me: How does 7pm sound?
Family: “WE” are there!
As “WE” began to watch the movie “TOGETHER” I noticed that everyone, including myself, was holding an electrical device. As the movie played on I put my pad down to observe the eyes of the others, and to no surprise, their eyes were no longer on the big screen, they were all fixated on “THEIR OWN” personal entertainment systems. As the enchantment of their machines continued to cast a spell on the unknowing participants, I decided to take advantage of the situation. I wanted to use this moment as a time of reflection, to show “US” that “WE” are being led into a desolate, isolated, and solitary future, but not a lonely one, for their machines will be the company that we keep, as our movie plays on……
“ENJOY EACH OTHER WHILE YOU STILL CAN”
I am a fifty-one year old man with the daily aches and pains of someone much older. I feel as if I have reached my twilight ahead of schedule but I am not one to complain, for I know that I am blessed to be alive to exercise the wisdom that the Lord has given me. Becoming of age can be an awakening, the act or moment of becoming aware of things that one did not see prior. I can now see things for what they truly are, for when I was younger I couldn’t see through their lies, deceit, and the intentional propaganda, the deliberate, systematic attempt to shape perceptions, manipulate conditions, and direct behaviors to achieve their desired agendas. I embrace my twilight for it is a time of reflection, it is that time in life where one can find himself in a state of wonder, where dreams that are of the past are brought back to life, if only to say, what if? In my premature twilight I embrace the dreams that are of my past with the objective of bringing them to fruition, for their shelf life is beginning to expire, along with my motivation. My twilight will soon be in need of another host, for the darkness that is of the night stalks my fading light as if it were prey, and I will soon be within its grasp, but for now……
“THE HUNT CONTINUES”
During times such as these one can feel imprisoned in-between their truths and their lies, for one can struggle to find freedom in-between the two, as they are one in the same. As this “LOCKDOWN” continues I keep the world “LOCKED OUT,” I will use this time wisely to get LOCKED IN” spiritually. I can sit here all day and express my feelings to you concerning conspiracies, wrongdoings, black and white, Trump, or whatever other intentional propaganda that exist in the world today, but I feel that the Lord is deserving of that time, for he will be the one who shall set me “FREE.”
“USE YOUR TIME WISELY”
Death: Excuse me, is your name Damon?
Me: Stop it! You know who I am, what do you want this time?
Death: The same as before, but this time there will be “NO” interruptions!
Me: Oh really, and how did you come to this conclusion?
Death: I waited, man is not perfect, it was just a matter of time, and I have plenty of that!
Me: Well I am sorry to inform you, but you are going to have to wait a little longer, for I may not be perfect, but the Lord knows my heart!
Death: I need you to lie, I need you to steal, I need you to commit adultery, I need you to have false idols, I need you to “NOT” honor thy father and mother, I need you to use the Lords name in vain, “DAMMIT,” I need you!
Me: I understand your needs, but there comes a time in ones life when one has to understand that his or her needs should take precedence over the needs that belong to someone else! With that said, I have nothing to offer you!
“WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER DEATH?”
It is two o’clock in the morning and I have no worries in the world, the television is off, the mail is not running, no pads and no phones. As I turn to my right my wife sleeps in a state of comfort so I shall only gaze at her beauty, holding back from disturbing her peace that will elude her during the waking hours. As I sit up with elbows on knees and face in hands, I thank the Lord for another chance at redemption. As I slowly rise, although difficult, I realize that there are many who cannot perform this act on their own, so once again I thank you Lord for making this possible, for I remember when. Standing tall now as I head towards the window to peer into the night where the hidden lie in wait, I think of when the sun comes home to brighten my path, for soon its light will be needed to send the darkness back from whence it came. As the light that is of this day begins to bully the darkness that is of this night, I wait with unbridled anticipation for what blessings may come on this day, for as long as I stay on the path that his light reveals, I will never be lost.
“For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost.”
The anger that resides in me is deserving of a standing ovation and is worthy of an applause, for my friend has always been there for me in all my times of need. My friend has helped me overcome the side effects of being the “NICE GUY,” the guy who would give you the shirt off his back, the guy who just can’t say “NO!” My friend Anger, born from the greed and selfishness that is in this world has become a mainstay in my daily existence. He is my faithful friend that is always on duty protecting me from those of the world who would like to take advantage of my kindness, for they know that is where my weakness resides. The world takes no days off so my friend works overtime to keep mans greed and selfishness at bay, especially during times such as these, times of self-preservation. My friend and I became one by experiencing many of life’s growing pains together, for at that time we felt as if we needed each other to survive in a world that only looks after its own. One would think that in times such as these I would be in need of my friend more than ever, but one would be wrong, for I have found something greater than he! The time that I spent with my friend was an essential part of my growth that I will not soon forget, but as my spiritual maturation process continues to develop, I have come to notice certain changes in my friends behavior, it seems as if he has picked up jealousy in route to my spiritual growth. During this process he has brought to my attention on more than one occasion that I have been spending more time with the Lord, than I was spending with him. As he continued to expose his true inner feelings to me a feeling of separation crept in, my friend was acting out on his own, it was beginning to feel as if he never needed me, except as a means of transportation. As he continued to put his true nature on display I noticed that my friend was turning into rage, and with one deep breathe, followed by the pounding of his chest, he screamed….
“WHY HIM, WHY CHOOSE HIM OVER ME?”
Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that “GOD” deserves.
Out of fifty-one years on this earth I was under the influence for twenty-three of those years, I will not lie to you, I am here to testify! I was in love with intoxication, in the beginning we went out a few times, you know, a period of feeling each other out so to speak. I was fourteen at the time, a bit young for a relationship, so we kept our liaisons a secret. As time progressed I began to mature and our relationship was beginning to evolve, we were becoming. Intoxication was my first and I shall never forget her, our intimacy was so intoxicating that I wanted nothing more than to be with her, nothing! For the first couple of years our relationship was great, to be honest with you, it was awesome! We began to see each other daily, and it wasn’t long before we moved in together. Living with intoxication can be overwhelming at times, it can become tiresome, it can be physically and mentally damaging, it not only can, but it will! As the years progressed we were on and off, she would move out, or should I say, I threw her out! I through her out many times, but I always begged for her to come back home, and her reply was always the same, “IF YOU WANT ME BACK, THEN COME AND GET ME,” and I always did. The world can be intoxicating, exciting, stimulating, provocative, and alluring, but buyer beware. Although the intoxicating effects that are of the world might seem enticing, do not be tempted by the short-lived state of euphoria, for the crash is not worth an eternity of? As I write you absorb, so I write with the Lord in me, so he can be in you. The intoxicating effects that the Lord and his scriptures give you will be like no other, there will be no need to reach for higher heights, for your climb will be over.
Look up at the heavens and see; gaze at the clouds so high above you.
As my pain awakens me I shall not sleep, for the memories from which my pain was born will keep me company until the sun rises. As I try to get acclimated to this repetitive loop, my new roommate seems to have an issue with touching things that do not belong to him. During our pre-move in meeting at the hospital I was told that he would only have access to my two shoulders, my jaw, my left eye, my right femur bone, my right knee, my right shin, my right ankle, all of my ribs, and my skull, everything else belongs to me, pain free! As time goes by I have come to notice that my new roommate has gotten a little too familiar with his new surroundings, for he is now beginning to take over. I can’t kick him out because he signed a lifetime lease, but I can take something that will keep him out of places where he shouldn’t be, but at what cost? The side effects of this can give him more access to things that are not his, so I abstain from taking substances that might have an adverse effect concerning our living arrangements. I do not think that I will ever get comfortable living with pain, but I do appreciate the life that comes with it, for pain is the act of the living.